I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
