Don't you send me to vm
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think I sprained my soul last night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize