do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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