we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
