I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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