Dual....:-)
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This baby is an asshole
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
