420 ftw
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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