great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
