i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
