You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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