Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
