Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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