OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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