Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
