Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize