I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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