i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
