He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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