Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
