HIV tests are more positive than that guy
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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