that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
