this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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