dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
