We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
