if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
