***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
