I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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