how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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