dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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