Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
