There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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