glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
