It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
