So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
only you would photoshop your dick
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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