did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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