My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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