I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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