id be glad to
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
