Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize