Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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