i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
