he puts the penis in happiness.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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