I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
