how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
two words...techno handjob
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
