So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
