this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
