You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
