Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
