And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
