super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
