Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My penis needs a shock collar
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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