I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
