i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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