did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
