i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
