help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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