I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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